


Forever

by Round Table Romance (PoisonedDeath)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 14:48:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6157110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonedDeath/pseuds/Round%20Table%20Romance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been too long and Merlin just wishes it could be over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever

There was no agony quite like it, no words that could convey the pain in his chest. Decades had turned into centuries which had dragged on to over a millennium and although the world had changed, Merlin's feelings had not. It still hurt just as much as it had the day Arthur had died, if not more, and Merlin had long since given up on finding a way to convey just how much he adored his long-gone king. It was four AM, and he was sitting in front of his bed, naked with his arms wrapped around his knees, pulling them tightly to his chest. His thin, pale frame shook slightly, but the warlock could not cry. The drought had hit him eight hundred years ago - the day he finally ran out of tears to cry for his king. He was aware of the prophecy, of course, but the waiting had grown tiresome. Most nights were like this; the pain would creep up on him, and then it would devour him.

There was a world outside his window that was full of endless noise, but the dark haired man sat in silence as the late night traffic filtered through the glass. He was fully aware that he only had five hours until he had to be in a meeting - working was a necessity, even after all of the years that had passed - but he wasn't ready to will himself to sleep yet. He mostly worked from home, so that he could wallow in pity. The ache in his heart, in his soul, would not let up; it could only deepen until it tore him open. Once he was open, the contents of all that he was and all he could be would be emptied and he'd be left as nothing more than a void. He'd be a blank slate, a shell built to wait and wait with a broken heart that no amount of band-aids and booze and _tourniquets_ could fix. He'd tried. He'd tried so many ways to run from the pain. He'd tried to end it all a few times, but nothing would work. His so-called life wold just continue on.

He hated being around people. In fact, hate didn't even begin to cover the emotion that he felt. He hated seeing people suffer, and he hated knowing that they would all die. It was selfish, that he knew - he didn't want to watch people fade. He didn't want to think about it, but how could he not? Death was all he knew, and yet it was the one thing he did not understand - the one thing he could never experience. And oh, how he wanted to feel death's embrace and it tugged on his wrist, but he was destined - no, he was cursed to suffer this exhausting existence. For Arthur. For the Arthur that he loved more than he could ever describe. For the Arthur that he gave up everything for, that he gave everything to. _For his Arthur._

There was nothing left of Merlin now, the emptiness had taken hold. He curled up on the floor, unable to find the strength to climb onto his bed. It was just another night. Just another normal night, and that's all it could ever be. Deep inside the warlock's mind was that one constant thought that kept his shattered heart frozen. He could be waiting for millennia.

_He could be waiting forever._


End file.
